Wednesday, January 7, 2009

travel plans

on sat i will be returning to fresno to all my friends, my close sister michelle, and my bf who i am currently not sure if he is really sincere. you see we dated for a month or so during this summer of 08 ad we got real CLOSE. he got to know my family from day one and they seemed to approve of us. and then he hurt me out of no where. he was so close with my family. they all thought he was kind, smart, and trustworthy. JUST as i did. but then when school started again for us i was finally a sophmore and he was starting his junior year, he did the one thing i did not expect, he ignored me. He had turned into this guy i didnt know one i didnt want to be around, but i always gave the effort to hang out and get to know his friends. me and his friends had met before but not really comfortable friends yet. whenever i was with him around his friends he would ignore me like i wasnt even there, and i felt he should at least of told me that he wanted to be alone with his friends. sano is a very poetic guy. he can lift you off your feet with just on word. i fell for him so hard in such a short time. the worst part is, is that i was the one who had to end it. i tell my mother everything about my relationships. i told her how he was always ignoring me and would diss me in front of his friends. she was the one who advized me to end it for my own good. And i did. I have to say, that being single during this time had been so fun and stress free but i kinda had my eye on a couple guys. I put my self out there not wanting anything serious. but i ended up giving my self this bad image. so i stopped. the main reason i stopped is because well i was getting over sano. so i started hanging ou with old friends and i stopped the drinking and ever other thing that i thought that might ruin my high school life. btw he his name is sano garcia.... and i am inevitably in love with him, but i am so scared, and insecure about him hurting me again. i had to convince my mom that he meant well and that she should give me and him a chance again. but she doesnt want for me to get hurt again like i did with Eric. well lets just say he is a total different story. but on new years day me and him got back together after talking through all of our issues and about him hurting me and my insecurities. so i decided that i would not fall so deep so fast and that i would let it pace itself , not letting me get hurt so much if something were to happen. a new year means a new start of something new. And we will see where it goes from here.

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